Asking a lender for a debt write-off - Surviving Economic Abuse (2024)

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Coercing a partner into debt is a common tactic that perpetratorsof economic abuse use. They seek to createinstability, andmake itdifficult for you to leave and rebuildyour life.

An abuser mayhave:

  • forced you to take out credit
  • used credit in your name
  • made youuse your credit against your wishes.

This may have left you withdebts youcan’trepay.

There area number ofsolutions to coerced debt that you canexplore with aqualified debt adviser. These include explaining thecirc*mstances to the lender andasking them to write off the debt.This is not a guaranteed solution. It is important to speak to anadviser about all your options and the best option for you.

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Tackling coerced debt

You are in debt to a lender (acreditor) ifthere is money owing on a credit agreementin your name. The credit agreement is alegal obligation to repay the debt.

If you have been coerced into taking out thecredit agreement, or if the abuser’s behaviourhas forced you into spending more creditthan you can afford, repaying the debt mayfeel extremely unfair. By working with aqualified debt adviser, you may be able tofind asolution that is manageable for you andhelps relieve the pressure of the debt.

“I was already feeling vulnerable in my home life and worried about keeping myself and my children safe. But dealing with creditors chasing me for money amplified my anxiety of the whole world collapsing on top of me.”

Some people decide to ask the lender fora debt write-off. This is successful in a smallnumber of cases, however there is no legalobligation on the lender to write off anymoney owed to them. Whether this is theright course of action for you will dependon your personal circ*mstances. If it issomething you wish to pursue, it will help todo this with the support of a qualified debtadviser. You can discuss with them otheroptions, including debt management andinsolvency.We have resources on thesetopics, and on challenging the liability forcoerced debt if this is something that youwish to consider.

All debt solutions, including seekinga write-off, can have long-termconsequences depending on yourcirc*mstances. If you wish to ask a lenderto write off money you owe, it is advisableto do this with the support of a qualifieddebt adviser.

Can a debt be written off?

It is not easy to convince a lender to writeoff a debt that is owed to them. However,some people have successfully asked thelender to write off a debt by explaining thecirc*mstances of the abuse. It is not alwayssuccessful and the response you receive willvary from lender to lender. Some lendersmay refuse while others agree.

Sometimes, a lender may be sympatheticto your situation. Others may need to beconvinced that there is no hope of themoney being repaid and so it is not worthpursuing the debt.

Requesting a debt write-off can be moredifficult if you have assets, such as aproperty, in your name. When a debt adviserrequests a write-off, they will usually sendthe lender an income and expenditure formto show that youdon’thave assets or surplusincome. The lender may be less likely toagree to a debt write-off if you have moneyleft over or assets.

Good practice guidelines

The UK Finance 2021 Financial Abuse Code outlineson how banks and building societiesshould respond to financial abuse. Thisincludes recommending that firms providesupport for customers with debt and arrears.It advises banks to respond to customerson a case-by-case basis. It also advises them to adapt usualprocesses where appropriate to helpcustomers experiencing abuse.

These good practice guidelines place nolegal obligation on lenders to write off anycustomer’s debts. A decision on whether towrite off a debt is at the lender’s discretion.

Mental health

The Money Advice Liaison Group givesguidance on how debt can have anegative impact on mental health. Theyhave producedGood Practice AwarenessGuidelinesfor helping consumers withmental health conditions and debt. Theguidelines say that lenders shouldconsiderwriting off debt when:

  • the customer has a long-term mentalhealth condition
  • the condition is unlikely to improve
  • it is unlikely that the customer would beable to repay their debts.

If you have experienced mental healthdifficulties, asking for a debt write-off on thesegrounds may be another option for you.

If coerced debt is affecting your mentalhealth, a qualified debt adviser may suggestthat you consider using the Debt and MentalHealth Evidence Form. This is a short formthat can be completed by health and socialcare professionals to confirm the effectsof the debt on your mental health. It canhelp lenders understand your situation andassess what support they can offer.

“I was so relieved when mydebt adviser explained thesituation to the creditor and they agreed to write it off.It’sone less thing hangingover me while I start my newlife. Before, I was constantlyanxious about whether Iwould have enough moneyin my account to make thepayments every month.”

Before approaching a lender

Gather information about creditagreements in your name

The abuser may have taken out credit inyour name without yourknowledge. They may also havewithheld information about creditagreements in your name from you.

Information about your credit record is heldby credit reference agencies. You canrequest a copy of your credit report fromthem. The agencies may each hold differentinformation. You may wish to get acopy of your report from each of the threemain credit reference agencies in the UK – Experian,EquifaxandTransUnion.

As part of the UK Finance 2021 Financial Abuse Code, all lenders are also advisedto support people with information onaccounts held with them.

Speak to a qualified debt adviser

Before writing to a lender to ask for adebt write-off, speak to a qualified debtadviser and explain your circ*mstancesto them. It is important to let them knowthe details of your situation along with asmuch information as you can about debtsin your name, so that they can best adviseyou on all the options available. There are organisations that can support you to find aqualified debt adviser.

Writing to the lender

Asking a lender for a write-off a is nota guaranteed solution to debt. There isno formula for what to say to lead to asuccessful outcome. The responseyou receive will vary from lender to lender.However, a qualified debt adviser cansupport you to draft a letter that shares thedetails of your circ*mstances. This will make thelender aware of the situation so they canmake a decision.

In your letter, you may wish to include:

  • Details of your situation:Your debt advisercan work with you on wording that explainsthe abuse you have experienced and howthis has affected your economic position.
  • How the debt arose:You may wish togive information about how the debtarose. This could include sayingwhether the abuser forced you totake out a credit agreement or if this wasdone without your knowledge.
  • Evidence of your situation:Somepeople include evidence of their situation, such as: a letter from a GP, orother health or social care professional;letters from any domestic abuse servicesupporting you; and crime report numbersor copies of injunctions. Discuss this furtherwith your debt adviser.

“My daughter thought thatshe may be entitled to havethe debts written off. Whenshe contacted the companiesto explain the situation,though, they advised thatbecause the debts are in hername it’s her responsibility topay them off in full.”

The lender’s reply

If you receive a response from the lender,it is important to discuss this with your debtadviser and to speak to them about yournext steps. There area number ofways inwhich a lender may respond to a request fora debt write-off.

Refusing to write off the debt

With your debt adviser, you may wish toreply to the lender to ask them to explainwhy they have refused to write off the debt,if they have not given reasons in their reply.

Offering to fully write off the debt

In some cases, the lender may decide that,based on the information you haveprovided, they are able to write off the debtthat is owing on credit agreements in yourname. It is important to keep any lettersconfirming that the lender has agreed towrite off the debt. Check your letters with adebt adviser to be sure that this is what thelender is offering.

Agreeing not to pursue the debt

The lender may agree not pursue you forthe money owing, but this does not meanthe debt is written off. Money is stillowedand the debt may still appear on your creditfile. If youreceive a letter that states you willnot be pursued for the amount owing, show this toyour debt adviser. They candiscuss this further with you.

Not replying

If the lender does not reply to your request,this does not mean that the debt is writtenoff. They could get back in touch with youto pursue the rest of the money owing atany time.

Other things to consider in relationto the lender’s reply

  • Keep a copy of any letters you send tolenders and replies that you receive.
  • If the lender follows up with aphonecall,ask them to respond in writing.
  • If you are not happy with the lender’sbehaviour, make a note of the details. This may be helpful if you later decide tocomplain.

Remember that getting a debt written offcan have a long-term effect on your creditrating. Lenders may record the write-off onyour credit report using the terms ‘settled’ or‘partially settled’. This may affect your abilityto get credit in the future. Before writing to alender to ask for a debt to be written off, youshould speak to a qualified debt adviser.

“I had been putting offspeaking to anyone as I didn’tknow how to approach thesecompanies. But with the helpof my debt adviser, I wassuccessful in removing acontract in my name and thedebt was written off in full.”

Other ways of tacklingcoerced debt

Asking a creditor to write off your debts issuccessful in some cases and not in others.It is not right for everyone. It is importantto speak to a qualified debt adviser aboutyour circ*mstances and all your options.

Other debt solutions may be available,including challenging the liability of thecredit agreement, a debt management planor insolvency.We have resources on thesetopics. The right option for you will dependentirely on your circ*mstances, so advicefrom a qualified debt adviser is essential.We have details of some organisations you may wish to contactfor support.

Through the Economic Justice Project, SEAhas been working to challenge debt thathas been coerced. This includes workingwith domestic abuse and money/debtadvice services,creditorsand other financialservices as well as influencing policy.

Last updated August 2022

Further support

If you are experiencing economic abuse, youare not alone. We have more information thatcan support you to take steps towards safetyand begin to regain control of your finances.

Debt
Survivors’ Forum
Financial Support Line
Asking a lender for a debt write-off - Surviving Economic Abuse (2024)

FAQs

Asking a lender for a debt write-off - Surviving Economic Abuse? ›

Some people decide to ask the lender for a debt write-off. This is successful in a small number of cases, however there is no legal obligation on the lender to write off any money owed to them. Whether this is the right course of action for you will depend on your personal circ*mstances.

How to ask creditors to write-off debt? ›

Unfortunately, my circ*mstances are unlikely to improve in the foreseeable future and I have no assets to sell to help clear my debt. I am therefore asking you to consider writing off my debt as I can see no way of ever repaying it. If you are unable to agree to this, please explain your reasons.

How to fight financial abuse? ›

What to Do If You're Experiencing Financial Abuse in Marriage
  1. Get Financially Educated. ...
  2. Meet with a Financial Planner. ...
  3. Pull & Freeze Your Credit Reports. ...
  4. Make a Safe Exit Plan. ...
  5. Speak to a Lawyer. ...
  6. Practice Self-Care. ...
  7. Seek Emotional Support.
Nov 29, 2022

How to prove coerced debt? ›

Documenting situations and examples of coerced debt (in every form that it occurs) can help you provide proof of your partner's pattern of behavior. Documentation of financial abuse is critical when trying to resolve coerced debt with card issuers, other creditors, banks, credit bureaus, mortgage servicers, and others.

How do I ask for debt forgiveness? ›

The borrower can apply for debt forgiveness on compassionate grounds by writing about the financial difficulties and requesting the creditor to cancel the debt amount.

What to say when negotiating a debt settlement? ›

“As for the negotiations, be persistent and persuasive,” Schwab says. “Write down your arguments beforehand and make them sympathetic to your case.” Share any truthful reasons you may be having a hard time and show that you want to pay as much debt as you can.

How do you negotiate with creditors to reduce debt? ›

Negotiate with Creditors Directly

Go directly to the original creditor and see if you can negotiate a deal with them. One clear benefit to negotiating directly with creditors is the opportunity to settle your debt for less before the creditor turns the outstanding balance over to a collection agency.

What is financial gaslighting? ›

Financial gaslighting

Gaslighting is a common tactic used by narcissists. For example, they might make you second-guess a financial decision or accuse you of being irresponsible with money.

How is financial abuse proven? ›

Gather as much evidence as possible.

You need hard evidence to prove that the suspect exploited the senior financially. This could include bank statements, copies of processed checks, or copies of legal documents.

What is narcissistic financial abuse? ›

Narcissist financial abuse is often covert and subtle, making it difficult for victims to recognize it until they are entirely trapped. Narcissistic financial abuse can manifest in various ways, from controlling bank accounts and spending habits to using money to manipulate or punish their partner.

What are the three things debt collectors need to prove? ›

In order to win a court case, a debt collector must prove that they have proper ownership of the debt, that you actually owe the debt, and that the amount they claim you owe is correct.

What is the coerced debt Relief Act? ›

2517, recently codified as California Family Code Section 6342.5, allows a survivor of domestic violence seeking a restraining order to request that a judge order that they are not responsible for debts coerced by the abuser or obtained by the abuser in both parties' names without the survivor's knowledge.

What is proof of debt evidence? ›

A Proof of Debt (POD) is a form completed by a creditor which details how much the creditor is owed. Creditors can be invited to lodge a POD in a bankrupt estate should the trustee expect a dividend to be paid. A POD includes supporting information to prove the debt is owed.

What is a drop dead letter? ›

Send a 'drop dead' letter

You have the right to ask them to stop contacting you. To do so, you can send what's sometimes referred to as a “drop dead letter” — a written notice to the debt collector informing them you want no further contact. By law, debt collectors are required to follow this request.

What qualifies for debt forgiveness? ›

Borrowers with undergraduate debt would qualify for forgiveness if they entered repayment 20 years ago or more, and borrowers with graduate school debt would qualify for forgiveness if they entered repayment 25 years ago or more. Cancel student debt for borrowers previously enrolled in low-financial-value programs.

Is there really a debt relief program from the government? ›

Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a government-sponsored program for credit card debt relief. In fact, if you receive a solicitation that touts a government program to get you out of debt, you may want to think twice about working with that company.

Can you ask a company to write-off debt? ›

Some people decide to ask the lender for a debt write-off. This is successful in a small number of cases, however there is no legal obligation on the lender to write off any money owed to them. Whether this is the right course of action for you will depend on your personal circ*mstances.

How do I ask my creditor to remove a charge-off? ›

What you can do is contact your original creditor. You can ask them—very politely—what it would take in order to have the charge-off removed. At the very least, they'll likely ask you to pay back at least a portion of what you owe. In this situation, some creditors may offer a “Pay for Delete” agreement.

Is there a way to get debt written off? ›

You will normally have to convince a creditor that writing off the debt is in their best interest as well as in yours. Usually, this means showing them why there is no likelihood of them getting enough money back to make it worth pursuing you for the debt any longer.

Can I ask my credit card company to write-off my debt? ›

Credit card companies rarely forgive your entire debt. But you might be able to settle the debt for less and get a portion forgiven. Most credit card companies won't provide forgiveness for all of your credit card debt. But they will occasionally accept a smaller amount to settle the balance due and forgive the rest.

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